JennynJuno

2010-04-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

I felt when he ignores me...

is it 'cuz i do have sth feeling w. him?

OMG, he's married with a son, he's my boss...then how could i?

I know what i want

n that's the reason why im so worried

...i think this is the final time b/t us,

everything will change when he comes back. We'll no longer like before.

I loved him n i know that's stupid, but i just cant resist.

If i got a chance, so sorry with his wife, but i want to sleep with him. Not for my personal benefits... but intangible benefit...to make my heart in peace.

I'm weak...n i know that i need to break the limit, throw away all good reputations, to freely live...to experience new new...

At the end of the day, it is the education, right? right? right?

2006-12-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

Sooooooooooo tired!

How many times do I utilize this phrase????I don't remember.............don't even wanna count............just 'cuz too tired!I went out with my friends tonight.......I smiled a lot, they joked a lot.......said lots of funny things..........beside me fulls of people............but loneliness inside............I lUv U so, DuMmY!

Time comes late today.......................useless............cant help me to recover anythin'...............missin' U permanently in my mind................Friendz, crusher...................nobody could fulfill ur gap.............Dont balme me stupid! It's useless!.............'cuz I'm really.............iT's mE siNce tHe dAy u mailto:leFt@#$%^&*^%&*()!

Dont leave me! I just wanna shout out this sentence..............but sth choked............tight tongue..........tears are liberated today......................I just wanna cry, yell ur name so many times., hug u tightly n warmly................in my arms............I cry n beat u on ur chest hardly.................then, choke............n cry more n more................sTuCk wIthOut uR luV!

Tell me where u come from...................dont tell me ur origin....................dont tell me u forget me totally...............'cuz in my heart............it's where u belong.................always............forever until the day I get married..................with U.......................where I can find the peace, silent a minute.........a rest for my heart n my mind..................it's where I belong..............plz take me back to HIM..............He may forget me..............but plz don't let us fall apart..............I belong to HIM...........only HIM................he belongs to me........................not compulsory.............He does not need to be so................if he does not want................sadness, tears n depression would help me to wash out my hurt..................bUt, juSt tAkE mE baCk!

2006-12-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Birthday's empty

This is my birthday party......just around some people came.....n they came scatteredly........whatever...........so funny n so happy!

Well, this is such a great time in my life when ever'sadness, worryin' n their stupid tail all disappear!
I open my heart totally n receive people's luvs all around..........
Happiness is when u'r pleased with ur "assets"....

I cant say totally I forget HIM.....actually I still think of HIM but in a positive way..........n believe in the miracle of the life...........one day, God might bring ME back to HIM- my love........One day, we'll know, Yep, it is!
However, stubborn I am! He's still my destiny until I find a new one replaced the position....!!

2006-12-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

Your Love Number is 9

You are a peaceful person, and you tend to have calm, stable relationships.

Connecting deeply is another skill of yours, and you tend to know lovers well.

Trusting and laid back, you are an easy person to love.

Love can be a little blinding for you, so open your eyes a little more!

2006-12-15T06:58:00.000-08:00

EmPty.....................eMpty......................

This is such a tired day, hix, so many stuffs to do.............CSS is totally crazy like her name, how can I read, highlight, take notes n draw mind map for 4 chapters in just OnLy 1 dAy?????
T_____________T, kiLl mE inStEad!
Ack ack, my birthday's comin'............1 more year.............much more stuffs must b done...................so be adult for wHaT?????

Tired tired...........I hate studyin'...........today is a grEaT dAy!.........I've got the meanin' of hAppIneSs.......it's when u'r satisfied with ur life..............he he, life's hard to be satisfied........he he, that's why I'Ve beEn uP leVel...........he he ^0^
Stayin' at home's never a boredom..........just recognize that some near days...........it's even a joy..........I feel safely here..............at home............neAr mY beLuVed pEoPle!

I become more n more timid............not in the appearance (inversely, I'm so friendly n open these days, he he, catch this opportunity!!!!)..............but iN mY inNer miNd?!?
Oe oe oe, computer's got viruses, Y____Y..........11 viruses.............hix, hav to del n re-format the Win..............T________T, uNlUcky lIke bE bItTen by dOg!

2006-12-14T09:00:00.000-08:00

Not the hot day, it's not rainin' today!

Runnin' in the yard........shoutin'.............n sweatin'.......happiness n sadness..............runnin' for just a piece of mental~~~~!
Be stuck in a room...........countin' 1 long arrow n short one another...............Listenin'.........it's important.............change my life somedays............hold pen in hands...........made it move..........line by line.............not straightly$%^&****!

2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.............be closedly acquainted.............happiness n hurt...................a drop of water 6th or 7th or even more................non-sense stimes..............n meanin'ful stimes..............dedicated all my heart for s/b.................then, take it back not fully.............only a half...............dOn'T wAnt tO loSe anOtHer haLf.............Mr.Doe asks for it- a half-oe, only a half..........I keep for myself............some........some more asks for it............hestitated.........gIvE oR nOt?............wanna......but cant.............stuck)()()()()(!

Tried.......... to be hurt....but not try.........unable to feel pleasant........#############!

2006-12-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Totally.....I change

God gives me chance to meet T, he's my just-friend........he has a crush on me.......He usually looks at me.......silently, try best to catch my attention...........with jokes, with events n news...........I smile n he immediately grabs my eyes with a meaningful mess behind his eyes.................He's waited for me outside of the door........to say sth with me..............I know..................before, I would have felt shy n hestitated........today, I felt nothin'.........smile n say some normal things..........walk into the door which's kept by him..............nO fEelIng iNsiDe mE!

God provides me an opportunity to meet C, he's not my friend........I meet him once or twice a week depends on the study schedule...........he's older than me.........he gives me several useful advices..........he's trembly.........facin' me........he's miserable in hidin' his feelin'...........he stares at me often..........he likes me for sure.........n he's stuck in his luv............with me...........nOthIn' bE iNsiDe!

God sends me an occasion to meet G, he's my indirect friend........I know him.......n he knows me..........we know each other............not yet spent time together.......He invited me........a date............I halfly agreed........I arrived there...........but not met him........although he's there........Then, we'r gonna meet each other again........I wait..........but it's meanin'less............I know...........from the bottom of my heart.........it says............not now.........maintenance time..........wait! O.K, let's see!

God invites me to his garden "LUV", he's left me outside.........n.............just wait......he said........I'v seen lots of people........comin' in....n.....out the door.........some'r smilin'.............some'r cryin'...........some'r normally walkin' as a habit or a must................but some do not intend to walk into that door.........but they'r absorbed...........like mental flirted by magnet........some'r eager to come into.......then, never see them out...........some'r curiously steepin' into.........then, regret.........not wanna be out..........but the door's already closed........they'r paused..........gaze at the door many times...........not want to walk away..........I'm gradually impatient more n more............God's not come back.............it seems like I've to wait more.............but why? There's available door............just push it n come in...........a little curiousity.........a little hestitation...........what's behind that door? A joy or a sadness? A happiness or a depression?..............Would I lose anythin' to compensate?.............Would I get some subsidizing instead?........

Well, actually..........I've tried once..........reach the door........a surprised shock...........uncomfortable...........but able to addictive-formin'........

Oe, better to sit here n wait for God comes back........lookin' into the door.......I see God...........he's talkin' with a baby..................he seems to do dealin' sth..........baby's cute with innocent face........baby stares at me.........baby says sth with God...........God seems to try to implore sth more..........baby refuses.........n I see God's disappoinment...........baby does not want to redo sth.............what's that? Does it relate to me? ..........I'm wonderin' here- outside of the door-...........then, I see baby's given God a paper...........a word written on that.........Curiously, I shout loudly............."Let me see it, dear God!"...........God seems to hestitate.........."I guess, u would not prefer it.......Nope, I wont...".......a little disappointed.......I'm angry at God.........but baby smiles with me.........nOt yEt fiNisHed- Baby says smiley!

2006-12-13T07:43:00.000-08:00

I've made u sad today........

I know 'bout it when looked straight to ur eyes.......U did not look at me........but the way u show......lets me know that u'r hurt...........I just intended to make u try that feelin'.........the way I feel............I want to let u get that hurt......smoothly but deeply..............n I thought that would satisfy me............I wished to do it all the times..........then, when it's done..................I feel sad also.......
Why? U'r deserved to get it..........U did break my heart n painted black my optimism......U luv ME but u ever says it out loud.............Does it make u ashamed to say ur luv to Me?

Well, I even want to do more more moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee just to let u fall into the valley of sadness n frustration...............
I don't blame u.............but actually since the day I met u, I've gradually not taken care of my studyin'- one of the used-to-be-most-important to me previously.........Ur mistake? or Mine?
I failed the mid-term test! I've received this news with a cold face..........nO fEeling inSidE...!
How papoo I am! What should I do? I know my luv's gone away........I know it's too hurt to recognize a hurt..............But why? why? Why I could not turn back to the Me I's used to???

If I had known luv's able to change Me, nEvEr! eVer!fOreVer, I would not have given it a chance to penetrate into my life...............
Stimes I wonder is my six-sense wrong? It tells me that u'r my half of life.......mY mAN.........1/2 my soul, my heart n my later life..................Then, it seems like we'r not born for each other..........
I'm not sad anymore..............just feel so tired...............tell me where I could find a way to get out of this bad mood????!!!?????

Dummy- it's ur name but not urs, I made this for u, u dont know 'bout its existence...........n u'll never get the chance to know that................I just feel regret I should have not created this name for u...............'cuz now it becomes a big stone preventin' me from the way out.
The way's named "FORGET YOU"

2006-12-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

One joy for each day

Today is a happy day ^>^, i've got several happiness in the same day, ahhhhhhhhhh, great! I luv TODAY!
Well, 1stly, Mr."Thot", he he, his full name is Kev..., but he has a broken leg due to the accident (ack ack, it's on the way of recoverin' ^>^) took care of me much although I'm not his favorite stud! Then, he took me as an example for the theories several times, he he, it's normal, I know, but I felt happy of that, he he ^0^
2ndly, in Desgin class today, there was a boy stared at me, eh eh, don't misunderstand huh! He's my friend, but difficult to get acquainted with him...so, he he, happy happy, it seems like he was considerin' 'bout acceptin' me as his friend, hao hao ah ^+^

3rdly, ack ack, today I've got a HipHop class, he he, I missed 2 ws of it, hence, ack ack, teacher seemed to focus on teachin' only me, T__T, how bad my dance was! Back to the past, I used to good at aerobics dance sooo much, then, ack ack, for a long time did not practices, Y__Y, sooo bad nah...! Oe, he helped me almost all the steps, ack ack, so bad nah.......The only pleasant thing was derived from the practices n movements of Hiphop lesson! So great! I'm a kind of sporty girl, so I'm very eager to exercise, ha ha, so great!

It's been such a long time until this great mood comes back again! Yeah, I luv this life!
He he, today I've got around 10 calls from my friend n my teammates, he he, so buzi huh! Additionally, I recognize that my friendz always take care of me n luv me as the way I am, so happy!!!!!!!!!!
Oe, then, one of my new friend called me several times to ask me for a date, T__T, so regretful, I've got so many stuffs to do, so, cant accept his invitation *0*
Whatever, such a gorgeous day!

I LUV U, TODAY

2006-12-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

Wanna date a Scorpio?

If you're thinking of taking on a Scorpio, you're in for a wild ride. You can be certain of one thing, though; you'll never be bored. Notorious for drama, passion, fierce honesty and determination, this water sign can bring out the best or the worst in you.

The Legendary Scorpio PassionDeeply sensual and desperate to explore every experience mentally, emotionally and physically, the Scorpio redefines passion. Not surprisingly, physical relationships with are very rewarding, and if you enjoy deep and complete involvement with another person, the Scorpio could be just what you've been longing for.

That characteristic passion isn't limited to the bedroom. The Scorpio is passionate about his pursuits and does nothing without all of himself. That dedication translates to his relationships, his work and his hobbies, which can make for admiral commitment to excellence or border on obsession. In personal relationships, the Scorpio's passion and emotional needs can become overwhelming, too. They are ruled by their emotions and can become hurt and angry when their emotional needs are not met.

Piercing CuriosityScorpios are endlessly curious about the world around them and how everything in it works. They often have stores of unusual information -- the product of that inquisitiveness -- that can challenge you, inspire you or drive you out of your mind. The good news? You can forget about awkwardly quiet dates; your Scorpio will never run out of conversation.

Of course being Scorpios, their interest can easily gravitate to human emotions in general and themselves in particular. And when their curiosity does turn to you, be ready to answer a barrage of questions until the Scorpio gets what she wants!Your Scorpio may believe that she sees the reality much more clearly than you (and because of her obsessive pursuit of the truth, she might!). While her insight can be invaluable when it is welcome, it can also leave you feeling belittled or offended when you're not turning to her for answers. The best defense is clear communication. If a Scorpio understands (and agrees with) your reasoning, she will respect your decisions. And if that doesn't work, try making an emotional appeal. Scorpios are ruled by their emotions and will understand why you feel attacked much better than why he or she is wrong.

Under AttackWhen the Scorpio is angry, beware. While not openly combative, Scorpios will need to seek resolution for their feel

ings, and they're more than capable of biding their time in doing so. Think that argument was over last Monday? If he wasn't satisfied with the outcome, it will come up again when you least expect it. Try not to feel that he's been smoldering over it for weeks, though; finding the right moment for conflict is the Scorpio's way of dealing with his feelings.

And when you're dealing with a Scorpio, it's more important than ever to address and resolve those conflicts. His stubborn tenacity makes him a world-class holder of grudges. Plus, at the heart of it all, Scorpios are easily hurt. They need to feel like their emotions are addressed, and the more you can openly communicate, the less likely your Scorpio will be to take a misunderstanding to heart.

The Scorpio Hold If you're thinking you might change a few of those habits in time, you might want to go looking elsewhere -- the Scorpio is infuriatingly resistant to change. Scorpios hold as firmly to their beliefs (good luck proving them wrong!) as they do to their goals. That lack of adaptability may make them impossible to deal with when changes are underway, but it also makes for a driven, goal-oriented partner who is often very successful in her pursuits once she finally achieves them. That tenacious behavior is probably why Scorpios are also fiercely loyal friends and lovers. They may fight relentlessly against you to defend their beliefs, but they'll fight for you with the same conviction.

2006-12-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

All about the Archer

Sagittarians entice some and confound others; you're unbelievably sexy and stunningly elusive. Your active mind, mischievousness and tempting flirtatiousness make you hard to resist. Enthusiastic, fun and effusive you're often the favorite in your circle of friends, yet your bluntness and tendency to 'evangelize' about your latest fascination can drive people to distraction.

As a personality, you're reliable and are good with keeping secrets.

However, the mutable fire in your nature means that if enraged you can be wounding with your words. Yet, when you've been hurt or wounded by others, no matter how gravely, you are quite forgiving. You'll find your most satisfying growth comes from travel or mental exploration whether through reading, academics or philosophy.

Most people who know you would describe you as honorable, generous, truthful and optimistic even in the face of obvious defeat. You're a passionate learner and a passionate lover, always drawn to the new idea and the new face. Social concerns are an area of life that offers great rewards for you. You have an innate call to justice and will expend your considerable fiery energy in defense of someone who's been treated unfairly, especially if they are unable to defend themselves.

Your mind is active and seeks truth above all. This often leads to a lifelong fascination with knowledge, learning, religion, metaphysics, spirituality or dogma. Because you're a mutable sign, your allegiance will be strong just up until the point when you become fascinated with the next idea. This can sometimes earn enmity from dogmatic or fundamentalist friends as you trot off to your new fascination. Their rage will be utterly mystifying to you as will their resistance to your new quest.

The life of the mind is your paramount interest, not adherence to any particular philosophy. You love new ideas, new projects, new endeavors but you're not terribly good at completion or commitment. Try to find a career that values your creative, idea-generating mind and will entrust the details to others. The best careers for someone as energetic, changeable and quick as you are: teaching, preaching and philosophy. Your skill with information, with analysis, and with words makes you a formidable lawyer, judge or professor. You also thrive in working in social programs as a leader, initiator and developer, especially organizations working for social justice internationally. Any field that has a component of travel will suit you well, from being a pilot, international journalist or even soldier.In love, you are as ardent as any other fire sign; if you find someone with whom you feel you can safely explore all your other interests you'll be steadfast.

However, if thwarted you may seek your freedom outside your commitment. Your primary need is to feel free, and with the right partner you can feel that freedom inside a commitment. If you're lucky, you were born with that need for freedom being entirely satisfied intellectually, if you're unlucky you'll have to manage your desires for others and for commitment very carefully. You sometimes feel uncomfortably driven by a fear of entrapment; yet you know commitment is where deeper growth lies.

Being convinced that the world offers unlimited possibilities can actually prevent you from the very depth and richness of experience you're afraid of missing out on. In other words, sometimes what you're looking for is in front of you; if you resist the urge to gallivant away, you'll discover what you've wanted all your life. The other things you'll grapple with are your impatience, your changeability, your need for movement and activity, your need for recognition and your ambition.

All of the above may make you blind to the effects your consuming efforts are having on your family and co-workers. Be careful to notice and control your tendencies to be domineering and boastful, extravagant and restless. Your pursuit for the next new thing can mean you become shallow and even promiscuous. You can become self-righteous and moralizing, sometimes to the point of hypocrisy. Your desire for the truth can mean that your bluntness is hurtful to those who ask for your opinion.

After inadvertently hurting someone with the truth, you'll always be deeply sorry and regretful. All in all, your gifts are enormous, your potential is huge; and your worst enemy will nearly always be your own inability to temper your instincts and impulses. Manage yourself well and there's almost nothing your ambition can't achieve.

2006-12-05T08:55:00.000-08:00

Miss U when away from U

Some MistaKes'r knoWn onLy by us

N notHin' coUld sorRow my heArt anY moRe....

To recoGnizE my nAive n foOliSh....

GroW not enOugh to gEt tHe meaNin' of liFe!

LoSin' dId nOt I knoW

ONe paSt n one haLf of haPpy

of a PrivaTe liFe........!

I'm so, So scarEd of dArk

AlOne sTep baCk the eMpty roOm

Alone N alone, beWildeRed I am

QuieTly findin' Ur shaDow

We sAy gOodbYe in tHe day

When wolLen scArf not yEt kniTted

WhEn the pIc draWn in my loVed colOr

U haVe nOt finiShed......

AwAy neVer a haPpy, doN't u thiNk?

Love meSs no loNger fOr me............

MovEd to teArs, u walKed out tHat doOr

HolDin' hAnds, I hoLd mySelf....

U went Away n gAp's stiLl....

ScAred, cloSe eyeliDs, I soOthe me inTo a sleep!

ArouNd me, flickErin' ur silhoUette....

Try to coNvince to bElieve "we'r fAr awAy"!

2006-12-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

Stuck.............

OMG, my life becomes more n more tough daily...........Yesterday, or maybe some days before, I 've got a shocked news..........Dummy luvs other girl.........

Well, I know this will happen some days, but I don't think that it comes so fast......Before I can prepare to stand for it.................

I am actually stuck now, I do not know what to do now............I can't focus on doin' things any more..............Jaenu has her own prob.........but is she too selfish when she ignores my calling for help?????????????
What does it mean? FRIEND? I have to stand for her these days, I can't stand it any more..........She never takes care of my feelin' as if only she's feelin'.........

It's hard for me to get this news.....................I get used to thinkin' that Dummy is my fate man...........Now, it strongly demonstrates that my six-sense is totally wrong............It makes me lost the control n direction............

I find it very difficult to share my confidence.......That's why I always pretend as if I'm very fine, I smile a lot but nobody could know that it's when I'm very sad even depressed....

10 yrs, I still not be sure that whether Jaenu considers me to be her friend or not. I always tried my best to lift her up.but when I was depressed she just took care of herself n even not take care of me.

I'm fed of it.I should think 'bout our friendship again n again. Friendship is not one way givin', it requires to be gettin' from the other side also........

Jaenu does not know that or she tries to ignore of that???????????

I don't know, but I find it very hard for me to keep stand for it...............

2006-11-30T10:00:00.000-08:00

..............IN CASE OF.............

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In case of 1 day I forget u.....

Sad will u be, my honey?

I said I think of u...

Yep, in fact I do, yes I do.........

But it's faint, slender n slim

N dropt n over, it's over....!

In case of missin' u, I do

Happy will u be, my darling?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I said I would think 'bout u

Believe it or at least I do....

N it's sure just vague, u know

Slip a little , away heart....

Roamin' n roamin'

Unable to find u for me

Stated again n again

I'm thinkin', thinkin' of.......

U much more, I do

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In case of lapsus "I...do...uh...I"

I,uh, Mr.sth, I miss U!

^>^ + ^>^= ^X^

2006-11-28T04:16:00.000-08:00

Nov 29th 2006- some diary notes........: Stuck n Depressed

Shittttttttttttt, nope, I don't mean life....life is not shit!!!!!!!!!!!
But people around me all get mad n it seems like they try to let me down, no way!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've got 2 lovely sisters in my life, one is my younger sis at home and the other is my buddy- Jaenu. I can not say that I luv them more than ever'one, but in some ways, their ranks are just behind my parents n my current lover.... Nope, it's not correct totally, stimes theirs even are much higher than Dummy....
Now both of them are in problems, negatively n postively.
My younger sis, call her Su Chan, she's stepped into the 1st step of the ladder named ADULT, she's got a bf! Well, I've to admit that it was such a big shock for me at the 1st time...I've got used to thinkin' that Su Chan is still a baby...an innocent babe who is very lucky 'cuz of not yet dippin' in the mud... then I recognize that I was wrong, how shocked I am!!!!!!!!! However, it is not such a bog problem ('cuz I took my little cute foot n dipped it in the mud very soon, when I was just 12y/o, around 6th grade ^>^), until she starts to tell lies n be proud of it (she thinks that nobody could find out the truths...). But she's got the wrong way, I'm her omni, older than her, more experienced than her, moreover, I luv n take care of her n we also hav a same horoscope sign: Sagittarius!!! That's why I discover that she tells lies n I am so sad 'bout that..... I promise her that I wouldn't tell anybody if she tells me the truth... But she still not believes in me, I'm so sad n even depressed.....!

Similarly to Su Chan, Jaenu is my 10-y buddy, can u believe? 10-y buddy? So, u know how closed we are with each other, how much precious time we did share n how we understand 'bout each other... But what do all of these things mean?when Jaenu's depressed now n I'm frustrated!!!!!!!!!
I's tried my best utilizin' many methods with the main aim to lift her up... but I'm still failed... What should I do? Her life experiences a big change negatively and extremely... She's lovelorn with her 1st deep luv....She luvs him so n it's also the 1st time she did put lots of hopes, dreams n efforts in constructin' it....Then, he went away n ever'thing seems to be collapsed! She was very painful in her heart... She told me that she ever waste a tear for this man, but who knows?
She tries, tries harder n harder, then she's halfly overcomed it.... She still thinks of him n it still hurts her much....

Then, she put lots of emotion n attention into her relative- Charles.... But in fact, I've to say that she was too possessive when she wants him to only well-treat her.... Suddenly, he turns his attention to one of Jaenu's relative omni... She got very angry, she yielded at him, said bad things 'bout him n victimize him with many unlucky accidents.... I don't judge whether she's right or wrong... Just feel so sad for her, 'cuz after that she's fallen again into the hole of depression...N this time, it seems that she could not recover anymore..... She told me that she has a crush on Dummy's friend, a cutie guy.... N I did hope that this would lift her up.... but, she thinks he's nothin' n seems to far far away the real life, she tries to shut down the door of her mind n never allow anybody to come into it again....

What could I do??? I luv them sooo much..........N nobody in this world could replace their positions in my heart....I have to do sth, even they may yield at me n say some bad thing to me "it's not ur job...", "u're too curious..."......... But I still hav to do sth..........
God, If I could ask u 1 question.... "Why do you create me n put me into this life when I seems to be useless n nobody needs me actually???
Even my lover- Dummy- he gets angry at me this morning.....He seems to blame me 'cuz I do not try to entreat him to come back to me........What does he actually want??? He wants me to be on my knees n say out loud that I luv him so n could not live w/t him, doesn' he???
O.K, he's got a right to request, it's his rights.... But plzzzz remember that I'm a girl, at least, he must giv me a chance to keep up my appearances' sake....
Yep, Some days we'll know I was the one for you- Dummy....
Years pass away n I still can't forget him...........
Yep, maybe, one day I may recognize that I have closed the door to my heart already like Jaenu...

At that time, who could help me??????

2006-11-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

SAGITTARIUS WOMAN

This is a woman who knows the Good Life and who fully intends on experiencing the abundance that Life has to offer. She's philosophical, worldly and has pursued higher education. Sagittarius Woman knows there is always more where "that" came from and will aggressively pursue more. In fact, that's her motto, "More, more, more!" She has a regal beauty and knows that she deserves what she desires. She's radiant, glamorous and professional. Her glyph is the Centaur and represents the manner in which she pursues her desires.
When she sees the prize, she pulls back her arrow and swiftly hits her mark. While others are hitting the low reaching targets, Sagittarius Woman will go for the highest reaching target, nailing it with precision. This isn't so much a personal or professional target as much as it is simply going after the best. Just like Richard Gere in the movie, "Pretty Woman," he wanted the penthouse suite and the balcony seats at the opera because they were the best. He was actually afraid of heights but his fear never stopped him from attaining the best that Life had to offer. Sagittarius Woman sees wealth as her birthright.
Sagittarius Woman makes a perfect leader because she has it all; beauty, brains and body. She can also gather devotion from anyone around her. When she arrives on the scene, everyone knows it. Her smile alone explodes on the scene like a flashbulb from the papparazzi!!! Even with such a Life assurance about her, she tends to be a bit skittish and will often shield her low self-esteem and emotional pain. This woman will rarely live out her Life alone and when she couples-up, there will have to be more to this relationship than Love.
Sagittarius Woman is highly drawn to a man who can complete the other half of "Power Couple." In this way, her father figure tendency is complete and her signature "fairytale" expectation is complete too. She Loves fairytales. Hmmmm that brings it back full circle to the fairytale, "Pretty Woman."

2006-11-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

SCORPIO MAN

The most important thing you should know about this man is his highly "suspicious mind." BUT WAIT! There is a logical explanation for his suspicious mind. Scorpio is the consummate researcher and fact-finding gatherer. His naturally probing and investigative mind causes him to question beneath the surface of what he actually sees.
Scorpio naturally rules the 8th house mystery, transformation, legacies and sex; therefore, his mind is inquisitive and investigative beyond what he can actually see. If you truly understand how his "suspicion mind" works, then it will be easier to interpret his actions and reactions.
While Scorpio Man is getting to know you, he is not suspecting you of inappropriate behavior by asking you questions. What he is doing is waiting, wondering and studying his prospective partner until he is sure of you. This man is famous for being jealous, accusatory and over-protective. If he feels any inappropriate behavior on your part or if he has uncovered a mismatch in your testimony, you better believe he'll call you on it. He may appear obsessive because his mind is always questioning something.
Naturally ruled by the planet Pluto, he is powerful and dynamic. Scorpion Man is strict, severe, passionate and intense in his beliefs and behavior. He's so intense and passionate that the color "burgundy," (which runs deeper than red) will actually get his attention. This man is also serious, shrewd and not at all superficial. He means IT, whatever IT is. If this man says he Loves you, believe it! He can be quite intimidating either personally or professionally because he is neither indifferent or casual.
He may appear pessimistic to his core, but this is only because he is prone to question first. He will see right through any fake appearances. Scorpio Men make excellent police officers, investigators, detectives, researchers or anyone who's job it is to question constantly. He is generally attracted to women who have a sunny disposition and an engaging personality, which ironically is the opposite of his. Yes, this man is very sexual. As the saying goes, if you want Good sex, go to bed with a Scorpion! Sex is important to him and he will have no problem showing it. He's a mystery man, known in the zodiac as Agent 007.

2006-11-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

When Angel defeats Devil

Seein' ur photos, nope exactly ur friend's photos n u're in those... A hard heavy rock weigh upon my heart... My mind seems to be away.... I cant' think anythin' my mind is empty n I even could not breathe....
I dont' know how to explain that feelin', I'm still in that mood when writin' the entry....
I am so ashamed.... I am a devil or even a more fierce than that.... U might be not an angel, but u live as a way u are.... U express ur thinkin' ur feelin' directly w/t any hestitation whereas I cant'.... I admire u, honestly!
U know, I've just cried.... As usual, I stepped very quickly to the bathroom, closed the door carefully, then sat on the cover of the chair... silently, I cried... Tears were busted....
I was such a terrible girl, I just luv myself.... I've told people with assumed-to-be clever lies...I thought I was smart.... I'm the No 1... But I'm wrong.... U show me that a happy life couldn't be achieved when I do not know how to luv others, or even try to do so.............

Starin' at ur photos, U were smiling with ur friend... n it's quite clearly that U're completely happy with what u hav............... I'm a loser............ I've got more friends than u,...........some are considered to be my buddiess, but what's got? I cant' not express my real feelin' n my luv...........I cant' share confidence with others.........although I really wanna share.........I can't.................
Meetin' u makes me recognize that all of my achievements since now are nothin'............. I'm a good child with my parents, a smart n experienced omni in my younger sis's eyes, often be concerned as an example for her..........I'm a social, extroverted, optimistic n always-happy girl- it's what my friendz state 'bout me............... A good student with a long study excellent achievements........... a cutie girl with many "tails"..........
It seems like my life has nothin' to complaint...........Then, u happen, u come into my life, 1stly as a stranger.............u get acquainted with me through my thinkin'...... U stared at me ever' time u had a chance..........while at the same time I ignored u as much as I can...........

I's wrong totally............. I feel guilty................ I think that I could not meet u again, I'll be ashamed of lookin' at ur adorable innocent face.......... I met u, got acquainted with u, luved u, let u know 'bout that, made u sad n be stuck in several questions n I left u...........all things for purposes........... not good purposes............

U know, my purpose is to demonstrate that u'r weaker than me..........I'm invaluable.............. that I've a right to be higher than u......... although I did not express it out, actually I treated myself as a queen.......... then, cosseted myself as a adorable princess in that queen's eyes...............

Yep, I admit all my intentions........... I've decided I hav to get out of all of these shit things.........after graduation, I'll do some social activities...... then, study Mkt course, it'll take me only 7 monthz, not much..........Then, I'll take MBA course n get a ticket to go oversea (maybe Aus...) n try my best to blow away all my memories 'bout u, ever' memories which hav pushed me to the depressed mood.............

I hope my memories 'bout u will never bother me again in my life......... U'r an angel, I'm a devil.....................that's why we can't be together...........that's also why we met each other....... Where angel is, devil has to appear to become a background for him.....................

Bye bye Angel- ur Devil..............

2006-11-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

I know it's not good, not really good to keep thinkin' 'bout u all the time n all the day...
There's a boy tryin' to flirt me...But I still think 'bout u...I even cant' giv him a chance...I know it's not good, esp when we're apart n u may forget mostly 'bout me or at least, u dont' waste ur valuable time to think 'bout me...

"Luv blinds people n makes them to become a donkey...". Yep, it's right in some ways, esp with me... Better than yesterday, I dont' spend all my minutes to remember u...But u're still on my mind... U may not know how much important u are for me...I miss u hour by hour ('cuz I said that I did not spend all the minutes thinkin' of u ^>^)

U know what I even couldn't pass away the habit of thinkin' of u 1stly whenever gettin' a sadness or a happiness...

The current man is good, yep, he's independent n quite eager to get acquainted with me...But there's still a boundary, a space b/t me n him...He's a good joker, he makes me laugh a lot...Yep, however, I still think that u'r my best man ever...
U made me smile a lot, though not ur intention...But u also caused me cried much...I had ever cried for anybody as much as I did for u...Nope, it's not correct...I cried not for u, just for me, I cried 'cuz I's so disappointed when most of my dream n my hope did not become true...I cried for the deadlock of our rltship...

I luv u, u luv me, we luv each other n we know that...But I did not know what to do, I's so vain, so overconfident...U were also, beside that u were even timid...N it seemed that we were not born for each other...
What should I do, Dummy?
What will happen if 1 yr later u'r still on my mind?
What will happen if 2 yrs later I'm still unable to overcome the feelin' of luvin' u?
What will happen if 3 yrs later I still cant' open my heart 4 another person?
What will happen if even more n more yrs later I may judge people comin' to me in a fair way?
...................................................................
I hate to think 'bout that stuff, I'm still young, a wide n potential future's waitin' 4 me...I do not really wanna bury my heart in the sadness, it's just in the case I can get my heart back from u...Otherwise, I hav to remain borderin' u daily to ask for my heart back...
At that time, won't u be mind 'bout that? U'll be pleased to welcome me n not hurt me any way, wont' u?

2006-11-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

Song: No Promises

Singer: Shayne Ward

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.

Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high I don’t want to let go, girl.

I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight, No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.

Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high I don’t want to let go, girl.

I just need you you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight, No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms I don’t want to run away,

I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..

No promises I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone

No Promises Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,

No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Luv has its own language that not all people could learn...

2006-11-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

This is such a good song.

"Stimes the loser wins..." n "...dare to dream"

Never lose ur dream- a good n meaningful message

2006-11-02T09:06:00.000-08:00

Seven in luv with.....a girl

Yep, strange huh?

Back to the past, when I's still a highschool girl, naughty and soo innocent. I's curious with several things n very eager to explore new stuffs, esp strange issues.

In those days, in some of my most surprised question, there's an interestin' one.

Like normal teenager female, I's flirted some boyz. Besides some normal ones (normal, yep, so don' need 2 recommend here...!), there're 2 outstanding boyz. They flirted me, I refused them politely (notice!!!!), they turned upside down their mood n seemed to react rudely back to me ??!

I wondered why they did so, I refused politely n of course, in the luv way, a person can not accept luv from ever'body, but only one.

Time will tell..........n actually it's done its job very well.

Today, exactly at around 10P.M November 3rd, 06', I drove a GIRL crazy n she said I's so pissed off (T__T), hix, how shocked I am!!!!

I bet men who has been in the same shoes , would sympathize with me ^=^....

Hix, after shocking time, I felt angry (hix, what de hell!) n I even intended to play a trick on her as a way to release my shock +__+

Oe oe, I've just been lovelorn with a girl.

Oe, what would u think 'bout that?

Oe, oe, oe, oe, shock, so shock!!!!!!

2006-10-30T09:32:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU

Have u ever asked how old this phrase is?

At some beginning days, this phrase might be the 1st one that people did create.

Since that, although time passes by, ILU does not loose its meanings and value, but even grown.

It's too cliché to say so, I know, but, it's exactly what I'm feeling now.

My feeling is for a special person whom He knows...

Words are full of mouth but the tongue is tied...

I wanna tell U what I'm feeling

But I don't know where to start

I wanna tell U, but now I'm afraid

That U might break my heart.

Yep, the question in the song is also mine: "Why should anythin' so easy ever be so hard to do?"

Why, why did U turn away?

It must be U're afraid like Me.

I try but I can't pretend that,

I dont' feel for U, the way I do

Can't U see?

Coming to the end, the song's followed with a conflict raised "I wanna tell U what I'm feeling"

Before ended with an assertion "and to say that I LOVE YOU."

http://www.4shared.com/file/5176759/24231a8d/i_love_you_-_mistys_song_-_m2m.html

2006-10-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

Love Is Silence

I'm so scared that you will see

All the weakness inside of me

I'm so scared of letting go

That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak

But I'm afraid that if I start to I'll never stop

I want you to know

You belong in my life

I love the hope

I see in your eyes

For you I would fly

At least I would try

For you I'll take

The last flight out

I'm afraid that

You will leave

As my secrets

Have been revealed

In my dreams

You'll always stay

Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak

But I'm afraid that if I start to

I'll never stop

I cannot hold back

The truth no more

I let you wait too long

Although it's hard and scares me so

A life without you scares me more

For you I would fly

At least I would try

For you I'll take the last flight out

2006-10-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

FRIENDS

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives,
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause were on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cuz you don't have another day
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Cuz we're moving on and we cant slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didnt know much of love but it came too soon.
And there was me and you and well we got real blue,
Stay at home talking on the telephone, with me,
We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared,
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And this is how it feels...

As we go on,

We remember,

All the times we,

Had together,

And as our lives change,

Come whatever,

We will still be Friends Forever...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,

When we look back now will our jokes still be funny?,

Will we still remember everything we learned in school,

Still be trying to break every single rule?(every rule)

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, keep thinking that its not goodbye,(not goodbye)

Keep on thinkin its our time to fly,

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow? (somehow)

I guess I thought that this would never end,

AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?

Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?,

I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye

Keep on thinking its our time to fly...

2006-10-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

Baby's world is gorgeous. Especially, baby is a precious one to its parents. Their smile can light up a black cloudy day, blows away all sadness and feud.

Firstly, take a look at Miss Suri- baby of Tom Cruise and Katie Homes. She looks like an angel, doesn't she?

Maybe in 1 day, Suri would recognize how important she is to her Daddy n Mommy. She has a face carrying similarities of both Daddy n Mommy, but eyes are her unique, innocent and spontaneous.
I don't like Tom, he looks so illiberal. However, this photo has well-protected his inner characteristic, he's looked very happy and ready to give ever'thing, just to show his feelings and luv.
Yeah! Although I'm not ready to move to the 2nd step- getting married and have baby, stimes I even scare of it, it is still clearly that the feeling of gazing at our own baby is terrific.
I want to enjoy the feeling of sharing precious time with my baby n my partner. Time seems to stop n air turns to be frozen. At that time, u seem to forget ever'thing and material demands are blown away.
"Hey, look at me"- Suri's supposed saying. She's so innocent n lovely. Well, I don't think there's a word which can express her holy beauty.
Britney is always my idol. I, 1stly, saw her when I was 11 y/o. Since then, she becomes my inspiration whenever staring at her photo. Although I'm her honest n loyal fan, I has written only 1 letter 4 her. I think stimes showing off luv does not bring it to the end, quietly luv may become ever lasting.
Britney may not be a great mother, however, similar like others she loves her baby by a pure heart. Preston has a adorable n coddled face, he has been dropped by her mommy twice or maybe 3rd, he did cry n hurted. But he does not recognize that, he still receives her mommy's luv. Children does not analyse things, simply they receive it 'cuz there's s/o giving for them.

Just adult who spends times to ponder n doubt, many good opportunities have been missed due to it.

There are many conflicts in Angelina Jolie. 1 side, she's the most sexiest woman in the world- a bomb sex. She has a complicated and even sick sex life. She fascinates n rob other's husband.

On the other hand, she's a good woman with a compassionate heart, typically she's been known as a goodwill ambassador. She's a mother of 2 different-blood kidz, she loves it like normal mother, even when she has Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. Zahara looks so being well-protected and beloved in Angel's arms.

2006-09-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

World of flower carries thousands of marvelous things; it is where luv starts and gives up chance to end up...

2006-09-23T03:18:00.000-07:00

Hix hix, too sexy to say anything

What a dream football team!

O.K, let me be a referee and I'll never get chance to use my whistle >____<

Eh eh, not fair play!!? =^0^=

2006-09-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

Ooh, ooho, Cute animals show goes on!

Tak' a look at this colorful bird...

Oops,cutie porcupines!

Uhm, let me take a rest, go away

Ooap, ehhh, dont' take photo!!?

Oe oe, is that a mice?

He he, I luve takin' photos

Penguine, "Dad luv me 'cuz I'm look like mommy...."

Sooo little, sooo cute, a doggy

What a vacation looks like!!!

2006-09-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hix, soooo cutie, I wanna own one immediately!

Oops, Sherlock Holmes!

Uhm, a mixture b/t Chinese and Eastern cultures.

Ha ha, similar to professor Dumbledore, difference only in their eye glasses.

Woa, Elvis Presley in new century.

Uh uh, it's not good! 1 groom- 2 brides.

2 beautiful ballet girls

How attractive a cooker is!

(0^.^0) a happy couple!!

2006-09-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world of lovely & innocent baby

Baby is a miracle creation of nature

Watching them sleeping and time seems to be stopped

Stimes, to attract viewer's attention, it's a good idea to include a baby face in photos.

The corpration b/t baby & cucumber is such an innovation ever seen.

Cutie babe!

Uhm, they say they luv X-mas 'cuz X-mas is as marvelous as they are.

Sleeping, sleeping without any worrying, always I wish I could.

It seems that baby still gets a good sleep although outside adults are tryin' to kill each other.

Jummy, baby is as delicious as Mc'Donald hamburg.

2006-08-24T04:06:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Britney's world!

Come here and take a look at Britney's photos through her life steps.

Firstly, Britney is an innocent girl with cutie smile.

Woa, so many pics u can find.

Britney inspires my world, hence, her world interests me (o^.^0)

Oops, she is so sexy and we say she is beautiful.

Coming to my life like a cool wind, she blows away all tiredness and stress. She does not know how important she is with me...

She is grown up days by days, so do I. It's time for us to sing "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman"

Furthermore, she knows her beauty and position in the showbiz. Obviously, she tries hard to keep her name on people's heart. She did pay penalty for her fame. But, more than anyone else, she also enjoys her great time.

She gets married with Kevin Ferdeline. The wedding encounters many protest from fans, however, Brit still keeps her mind. The only answer could be figured out in this case is believing in your luv & hope life would treat u well.

It takes times for Brit to regain her perfect body fit, but for sure, she are tryin' hard for it.

2006-08-24T03:50:00.000-07:00

(0^__^0)---(0^__^0)---(0^__^0)---(0^__^0)---(0^__^0)-----

(0^.^0)---(0^.^0)---(0^.^0)---(0^.^0)---(0^.^0)---(0^.^0)----

2006-07-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

Rainy day without you- (CBV)
Rainy day without you
Blue umbrella hides behind leaf canopy
Silently I stand staring at the moving crowd
Finding you.
**********

Rainy day without you
Street still cries
Watery street fulfilled by high-tension light
Candling my footstep
Being alone.
**********
Rainy day without you
Leaf rocks slantedly
Steadily, rims turn and turn.

I'm lookin' for illusory thing

Roaming like a seven wind.

*************************

Rainy day without you

The goodbye becomes tears

"I did not have mistake", yes, you did

'Cuz of me, cannot luv u by half of heart.

*************************************

Known luv passin' like the end summer rain

Sun then lights up

And again I'm still charmin'

But when rain comes this evening, alone walk by

Suddenly hearin' invisible hurt.

****************************

If only have you....

2006-06-16T03:53:00.000-07:00

There are 4 members in my family, including: Daddy, Mommy, Me and My little sister. It is hard to examine whether it is a good and model family or not. However, I really love my family, of course nothing could be considered to exchange with my family. Let's see how each member's characteristics are:
Daddy: When he was just a child, his favourite subjects are literature and languages (English and French). Consequently, he tends to be partial of art, which is demonstrated by his way of thinking and behavior. I think he is a smart, hardworking, sensitive and sentimental. Sometimes I think they are reasons why my Mother fell in luv with him and keeps in luv for such a long time, maybe forever.
His life is known as a long and challenged journey. Long times ago, when I was not born and my Father was still a tiny boy, my Grandmom- his Mother- had been very rich. He told me that my Grandpa used to have many big houses and even a cinema in the North Vietnam. War occured, in the troubled time, his Mother run to the South with her children and left all assets (Phew, stimes, I feel regretful, wish she still keeps smthing!!!). They moved to Dalat and decided to live here. Dalat locates in a beautiful plateau with lots of pine trees, little houses situated in the big and glamorous yards and friendly people. In some of our Dalat visiting, following Daddy's momory, I guess he did spend a great time in his life here with friends and exciting games. At that time, his family was still rich when my Grandfat was working in a high position for the USA. One time, I was guided to visit one of used-to-be-their-houses. It is a huge building separated in the center of a big garden where many strange and cute flowers are found here. Actually, it is more looked like a castle. Hence, I am made sense why my paternal aunt and uncle usually recommend about their time in Dalat with a dreamlike voice and regretful face. Subsequently, my Grandfat's job sufferred losses, my Grandmom did have to sell out some of their houses. Following the selling chain, from the big beautiful palace to monumental building, from smaller to smaller houses, his family started to face peckish and poor situation. After that or maybe after the Liberation Day, his family moved to Hochiminh City. His life came to other page- The page of poorness. Beside time of studying in school, he, his sisters and his brothers did have to find part time jobs to share his Mother's money burden. He faces many difficulties at that time: famine both in food and necessities. My Mom told me that stimes Daddy went to school with torn trousers, he looked funny at that time- she commented.
Like us, he admires his Father very much. He usually tells us some areas of his Father's life with a respectful voice. According to him, our Granfat is a great man. He was one of some first people who were assigned to attebd a refresher course in the USA. With poor vocabulary and lacking of practicing speaking, his Father did have to learn by heart words in dictionary while achieving the training course. All over his life, his Father did not live closed to his family, however, he was very faithful with Grandmom. This is one of hundred things that induce me to admire and respect my Grandfat. In the feudal time with many aged customs, while other men had more than 1 wife, he was still be faithful and loves only (I take a liberty to use SIMPLE PRESENT here, 'cuz I believe that if my Grandfat was still alive, this verb would be kept talking by him for my Granmom) my Father's Mommy. Consequently, I think that much or a little, it has affected my Father's characteristic.
Similarly, Daddy respects his Mommy very much. He said she is a type of perfect woman who spent all her life for feeding her children with her husband's absence. Passing by all the wheels of life, she still keeps a strong belief in her husband and tried and tried more to feed up her kids. It does not need to say the love between my Father's Daddy and Mommy becomes a real long lasting legend. I guess my Daddy does want to let his love with my Mommy become sth called "legend", too ^___^
With 5 years of loving, my Daddy get married with my Mommy. I think with such a long time like that, they surely love each other very much. Following his life, he did try many kinds of careers: from a agricultural engineer catching fish in the WC lake to a staff working in Export & Import Co., he is a headmaster of a management training skill school until now. He did encounter many kinds of difficulties and by himself he studied how to overcome it. He may fail or win, however, in the final, he seems to get the right experience for his tasks. If my Mother met him now, as a rich and clever headmaster, it would be unsure that she might fall in luv like in the past. He is loved 'cuz he is a faithful and honest man, moreover, 'cuz he was successful in buiding a belief for her.
Ti- my little Sister: The reason why she is recommended secondly is her name is constructed on the base of my Daddy's name. I guess Mommy and Daddy must love each other very much and must desire to have a happy family when they created this name. She does not like her name, with a silly reason, she said it looks like a male name. Sure it is! However, this is a meaningful name. Her name includes the meaning of a golden dragon of the God.
"Woa a little cuttie princess"- I could not count how many people did lapsus linguae when they first see her. With me, she looked like a monkey with red face and wrinkled skin. However, soonly, I recognized that she is more beautiful than me with double- eyelid eyes and pretty face.
In some way, she is a naughty and strange sister. When she was just a child, she usually smiled and postured in front of people, esp camera. Differently, growing, it is harder to find her face in a mood called "Smile". She can write by the left hand. It did put her in some problems in some first days of practicing writing. However, my Daddy usually says this habit tends to belong to genius or talented person. She is smart but lazy, if she tries hard, I bet her studying result would be better than mine.
As the youngest child, she is stimes selfish which is usually a reason of our ceaseless arguments. However, she is a sensitive person. She loves and admires our parents with a worshipful love. She admires Daddy 'cuz he is a wise man with a huge warehouse of knowledge and ability of explaining things in a easy way to achieve. Besides that, she loves him 'cuz he loves our Mother with unmercenary love and 'cuz she believes that he is always faithful with her. In some discussions with her, I recognize that her big dream is to have a happy family like this in the future where she and her husband will live happily with their children. On the other hand, she admires Mommy 'cuz she is the most perfect woman she ever met in her life. Although she does not speak English fluently, she does not pick her up on time and stimes she is too specifically in $ calculation, she is very good at cooking, feeding and teaching her kids, esp she is a good example of a great housewife who devotes all her life for her husband and kids. As her older sister, I know she also loves me much despite our frequent arguments.
Innocent and pure like an angel, she loves our family with a nice luv. Every night, climbing to the bed, she falls to a sleep with a wonderful dream leaving all bad stuffs aside. She ever let me know who is her idols, however, 99% I guess Daddy and Mommy are idols of her.
Mommy: She is the first and most important woman in our family who plays a decisive role of creating 2 other women. She is the second kid to last, however, her Mother- my Grandmom- did humour her much. If Kate Moss is known as the thinnest model, she must be shy in comparison with my Mommy. While Daddy prefered hugging a cuddly bear for taking a photograph, Mommy looked very active and naughty riding a wood horse. Staring at her photos following years by years, it is easily to figure out that her face does not change much. Similar to Daddy's life, she had enjoyed a prosperous time before facing poorness. With her little younger sister- who I call: Aunt, they played some traditional games, such as: O Quan (Pane & Win Mandarin), etc. and some for-girl-only games, for instance: dolls, etc. At that time, television is rare and only with black-white screen. Sotimes, my Mother got chance to watch TV of neighbors, it was the best minutes for her, she confide: "I luve that time so much". She loves Strums- thumb-sized people with blue skin. Usually, she imagined she get one Strum, she would put him on her T-shirt pocket and makes friend with him. Obviously, imagination is only imagination and she never owns chance to make friend with tiny blue-skin man, however, she keeps imagine 'cuz no one can stop her from doing that. She was known as the biological and chemical belle (my Father must be very strenuous to flirt her), thus, there were many "volunteered tails" walking behind her back everyday after finishing school time. Among them, there was the most patient VT who luved her from 9th grade to university. With her, he was a good boyfriend who was very gallant in sending many cute and expensive gifts for her. During time of liberation, sthing did happen, this VT went away after several times expressing his luv with Mommy. It was such a bad time in her life, the best and most faithful bf left her, luckily for MY FAMILY, my Father got that chance, he attacked her heart and become the only winner forever.
Mommy could be described as a perfect type of housewife though maybe not a perfect woman. She is funny, nice, friendly, sentimental and somehow emotionally fragile. She behaves as the way she is. Therefore, it is easily for me to recognize her feeling mood. Especially, she is very afraid of an eal which is assumed to be looked like a snake with slippery skin. Besides eal dishes, she will refuse all strange dishes if you invite her.
Additionally, she is very good at cooking. Processing dishes, she puts all her heart and mind in finishing them. Hence, besides her dishes' taste, I also feel her warm luv specially for Me, My little sister and for Daddy. My Family has a schedule of visiting GrandMoms each Sunday and Thursday. However, gradually, when we grow up, our timetable is divided for studying, friends and other stuffs, we delete Thursday plan and keep only Sunday visit time. Every Sunday, Mommy cooks sthing and together we come to visit my Grandmom's house. Cooking everyday, Sunday must be reserved for relaxation, she utilized it for creating small happiness for cousins. This is one of her charateristics that I'm mostly admired. It is hard to ensure that in the future, I could do the same thing for my future family. This is a silent sacrifice marked her name. Of course, with some people, this is an obvious responsibility of a woman, a mother in the family. It is the small and simple thing in comparison with doing the job in the society. I am ability to show off evidences to demonstrate that it is a totally wrong viewpoint. If it easy, we make a change, men will exchange their role for women. Let's see: in fact, there are thousands of women who do good job together with finishing all house tasks. However, counting on the hand, men could successfully do two things at the same time. Obviously, I don't mean that men are worse than women. Each sex has diffferent advantages and strengths. The important thing here is that I ask for justice for women, in specific, for my Mother.
I don't know about other women, however, I bet that she is the most faithful woman I've ever known in my country. As said above, many men give themselves a right to have more than 1 women in their life: one is wife and another is ..., let's call these are chokane (if we say they are girlfriend, it's wrong, 1st, it is confused between female friend and special gf in definition, 2nd, how can they be called gf when the man is get married and gets permission to have close relationship with only 1 woman- his wife, hence, another is not allowed). Ev'rybody makes mistakes in their life, but the important thing is they get experience from it and never repeat the same mistake again. Bringing a generous heart, women are always tolerant for their men if men mistakely walk in the wrong line, but only for minor and unrepeated errors. My Mother is not an exception. I hope that I could inherit this virtue from Mommy.
Me: Well, this is not the most significant part to somebody, but it is with me. I'm a normal girl with a moderate studying result. I have only two buddies when there are many people considered to be friends. However, I have not found out the person that I could trust fully and could share all of my confidence. I'm enthusiastic, optimistic, adventurous, curious and stimes sensitive also. Furthermore, in some way, I'm considered to be naive. Whatever, I don't care.
I luv my family, clearly, for sure. Back when I was a child, Daddy was used to be a magic man who can do ever'thing. I admired him with all my soul, at that time, he was my 1st fairy.
Time by time, gradually, I recognized that he is normal person like ever'body around me. If there is a difference, it is just 'cuz of he is my father who loves me more than others. As human being, he also makes normal mistakes, some of which have made me feel uncomfortable while the others can be tolerate. In some way, I used to strongly believe in him, in ever'thing he told me, in all his stuffs. However, now, I'm wonderin' if I am right. How can I know he is honest or not? I am sceptic, oh, I forgot to recommend it above, actually I am. Belief is free, but it is only given once a time in life and is never got back in case it's lost...
Stimes, I think 'bout my future, what should it be looked like? A year ago, if u asked me what my future looks like, I would talk 'bout it with a strong desire and enthusiasm, but now, thing seems to be totally different. I still want to work for the UN organization, it's the reason for my life, however, I'm not sure whether I can achieve it or not. Whenever a tree wants to grow up, it needs to be derived from a strong and fat soil. Whenever a bird thinks 'bout flyng, it would find a enough strong twig as a pedal. And I don't know whether I can achieve my dream or not...
In these days, I'm often stuck on matrix of thinkin', what do I really want? I can choose luv, normal life with a office-staff job and try hard to earn as much $ as possible or focus on ways to get my dream: temporarily put luv stuff aside, study hard, get a job in the UN and take travel by travel around the world with that job far away from my family...
Too tired and bored, I let my life flowing to indefinite direction. I find difficulties in sharin' my confidence with others, actually, I don't believe in anybody although I always show as if I belive in ever'body. Shuck!! Even my best friend, she has her own probs and she also requires my help, so who can help me?? No one!!
I love my father but, twice, he lets me down and destroys my belief!!

2006-06-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

Again, I am walking into the automatic door out of habit. I go to uni. to repay books. Shit, a stupid feeling ramming in my mind, where is he? Where is the man I'm looking for?
If I had not opened my heart, If I had not given him a chance, If I had controlled myself, If I had closed my eyes, If... if... many more if, I would not have to go around to find out my heart. I know exactly where it is now, I'm sure who keeps it but I do not take it back. I do not know how to take it back or I do not want to. I don't know! Oh, my stranger!
Behind Jaenul, we're on the mob running around the city. Missing him, I turn my eyes from side to side to find someone who I get used to calling him Dummy. Memory streamline brings me back to the 1st day I met him. It was the 1st meeting of my team in sem 1. "Late!! Shit!! Hope they don't get angry"- I was running throughout corridors, passing by the library, I stopped in front of a door of a small room- Seft-studying Room.

"Phew"- "Sorryyyyy, I'm late". There are around 6 people in the room, 4 team's members and 2 others. Taking a seat for me, S complained "Late! Penalties for u". "Oe, sorry!!! sorry!!"- "What a shame!!"- I's whispering. A was talking with a man, they were discussing about some stuffs. Staring at the man, "How vivacious he is"- my 1st impression about this boy. He seemed to fluently reply to all of A's issues. A high esteem for him and a little afraid of him, Oohs, a stranger.

"Hey, who allows u to have a look at them?"- Unruly, sitting on the garden chair, I asked. Gazing at me with a strict look, "I do not have right to look at them, do I?". "Hell, shit!! Chokane- He thinks who he is"- I was gnashing my teeth. Then, he freely allowed him to stare at my photos, it seemed that he was interested in them. Surprisingly, somebody took care of my stuffs. Funny, he's a stranger.

Today is a hot day. Seemingly, it is too hot to ask for a rain. I love rain, I love the feeling of being in a cold room and listen to the rhythm of the raining mingled with music from personal computer. A vague missing covers me. A nice smile, not too handsome, I can't stop me from smiling. He's soooo cute, not the most handsome, not the most talent person, but... he's the number one, at least I think so. "This is to let you know I love you"- "Pheew" how many times I have read this sentence, 8, 10 or even more, hey, I did not count, counting is something done when you are waken up, now, I guess I am not. Red face, hey, come on, stranger, of course.

Today is a hotter day. Raining is taking a holiday somewhere. It's been a week since the 1st day of my sleep. Pinching on the cheek, now, I guess I'm awake. He has disappeared. I cannot find him though walking throughout the campus. Impatience, worrying and missing are three of my permanent feelings. Worrying, a little bit more and more, he wants to hide me, I guess. "Nonsense, anyway, just a stranger".

How many times I am wondering that should I luv him? I don't know. Does he still love me? I don't know. Still? Yes, it is. He used to love me, but now, there is no answer for that question. There is nothing found to be similar between us, viewpoint? Not. Characteristics? Of course, not. Origin? Hell, totally different. Hence, nothing can be found to be the same or just be look like. I say I love him, "Stop that shit! He is not suitable with you, yerk!"- my friends grumble once a second. He tells his friends that he loves me, "Hey boy, wake up, she's not the one for you, she's of course not suitable for you". And we have no choice, God, may I ask you a question why you put us in this situation? Waiting for his reply, I keep standing at the same point 'cuz with me, he's a stranger and since that time, I'm wondering am I a stranger with him?

Life contains surprise. Ooh, Dummy is the same group with me. At the 1st time of looking at group name, I saw his name, but I didn't feel anything except of a little unnamed worriness. He would not join this class, for sure, he would switch group. I felt a vague hurt stinging inside my heart. His clost friend joined my group, I saw him, try to ignore him, but I felt uncomfortable. His friend stimes stared at me with a curious and inquisitive look, Oh, don't mind, I ignored his look. But then, I don't remember what number of the Internet 4 Biz class is, Dummy appeared in the class, I pretended as if his appearance is normal, but my heart is beating and beating, more and more, Oh, my God, I can't stop it. It was the 1st time, I discovered that stranger is not only stranger.

5 weeks, I'm living in a hanging in a mid air- air of happiness and luv. I luv to see his smiles; and although Jaenu always yields at me that he is ugly, no I don't think so, he is the most handsome man I've ever known. Hix, luv blinds me, he doesn't recognize how sad I was when he was sad; of course, he does not know that when I was sad, I crept into a restroom and I cried alone but tried to reduce its sound as much as possible. I don't want my family knew 'bout that. However, ... I want to let him know, I want to share all my feeling and minutes with him whether it is a good, sad or even bad time in my life. His face, his actions and stimes his voice lifted me up and helped me to release, I felt better. Then, I's confident to open the door with a radiant smile on my face and said hello to my Daddy. Oh, it seems like the stranger is no longer a stranger.

I sent him a mess and said that I wanted to meet him in Thursday. He said no, he did not hav class, I angried. He... never tried to do an'thing for me, I angried. I yielded at my mphone "How dare u! Tomorow, I won't tell u an'thing". Tomorow is comin' without him...He was absent, I'm worried, maybe my words hurted him. I tried to comfort him by sendin' an mess with content "Hi, seungnim, it's a long time that we haven't chatted with each other. We will today" and with a smile icon :) . He did not reply me, I felt disappointed, but I's still online and waited hopelessly. He was not online that night. I was angry with him many days after that, I ignored him and I see sadness in his eyes. At that time, I thought that our rltship was ended. Situationally, the stranger comes back to be a stranger.

But, life is beyond the definition of doubt. He and me are in the same team- Internet team. Ahhs, God seems to provoke me, when I want to forget him, He put him into my life again. Working in the same team with him, I tried to lead my behaviour as smooth and normal as possible. I don't want to let him know that how weak my mind is. "I have a private one-by-one meeting with him" I just want to shout out, I was so happy. I called him and said that we need a meeting to change the chosen topic due to some of its probs. Then, I talked with him in a room, I was surprised that I was calm down more than I imagined. He was also. Stimes, I recognized that I was peering at him attentively with full-of-luv eyes. Hix, wake up! I moved my eyes and hoped that he did not notice. At that time, I feel nothin', surprisingly, I should have been trumbled much, but, in fact I was not. Do I luv him? Stranger stimes is a question...

He waited me outside tha parking lot, maybe, I just guessed. I stepped over him and said nothin'. He seemed to be sad... That night, I sent him two messages, one is to ask him 'bout assignment, the other is to urge him quickly answer my 1st mess. I can't wait anymore after 10 minutes, I switch off my mphone and I was sad all the night.

I went to school this morning earlier than usual 'cuz of a meeting with teacher. I ran out to print an assignment draft, I must be hurry up 'cuz of lateness. I saw him and I felt disappointed he maybe did not do his assigned tasks. During the meeting, I tried to pretend that I'm O.K, I was staring at my teacher and kept my eyes at him only. But I saw Dummy's peering at me twice or more, his quite look. The meeting was finished and I just wanted to get out of the room, I did not want to look at him anymore. His friend stopped me with questions 'bout our website. I answered with a hiden fleer smile. Dummy gave me a paper with his note. I grabbed it and turned away immediately. My face showed an anger could not be hiden. I felt tired and did not want to say anything. Jaenu, even is my best friend, did not recognize that I am depressed. I took a long sleep with lots of fulfilled-event dreams. I woke up, tired and bored, I cried without saying anything. I turn on my PC and unintentionally I looked at the paper that he gave me. Oh, I try to prevent me from cryin' his part...was printed out. Why he did not tell me that he did burn midnight oil to finish his tasks. Ahhs, I wrongly blamed him. Now, I only wish my stranger, plz, not turns into a stranger.

Time will tell. I have learnt that stimes luv does not need to be shouted out or to showed off. Silent luv is still longlasting ever.

2005-11-21T23:52:00.001-08:00

Everything about me

"Be hornest, and I do it!"

You are Orange Monkey, who is lively, fresh and give an active impression.

Your personality is straight forward, and is a very attractive person to be with.

You are also very sociable, and can keep an eye on people too.

Nevertheless, you tend to be rather nervous and worry about things bit too much.

You tend to have a needless fear.You come up with ideas very quickly, but at the same time, you can easily give up.

You lack perseverance.

You should be more open and natural to have a foresight for the future.

You have an instinct to attract people.

You are a charismatic person to whom people naturally get attracted.

You have a flexibility to be able to adapt to any circumstance, and know how to get ahead in life.

You never miss to calculate the profit and loss, and live life rationally.

This makes you difficult to have an intimate relationship.

Once you set an objective, you will work extremely hard to achieving it, and can exercise great tactics.

Nevertheless, you tend to easily change your target as well.

You tend to be very independent woman, and will hate to be restricted to your family.

You may start to feel your family to be an obstruction to your life.

If you can have a job that would act as a freshener, your life would be smoother.

You tend to have a fantasy world in your head, and may hold a girlish dream all through your life.

After getting married, your family will be important to you, and you will be able to raise a happy family.

Visit this link to find your own answer.
http://www.rmitportal.info/forum/showthread.php?t=2416&page=3&pp=15

2005-11-21T23:52:00.000-08:00

Everything about me

2005-11-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

Ha ha, it comes back again!
And now u are sure that I love her soooo much!!O.K let me introduce her. She's Papoo (Korean= Papoo), nearly 1 years old. "She" means Poo is female. She's lovely!!!!!!!

2005-11-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Sculp's world, lucky and lovely people!

To ensure of follow'g the bogger's criterions, everything posted here is honest to any teeth.

Believe that u will definitely find what u want to know about Sculp when visit'g this blog.

Before make another step here, shout out loud a promise:

"U require ME be HONEST and here U are, so WHERE IS UR?"