Totally.....I change

God gives me chance to meet T, he's my just-friend........he has a crush on me.......He usually looks at me.......silently, try best to catch my attention...........with jokes, with events n news...........I smile n he immediately grabs my eyes with a meaningful mess behind his eyes.................He's waited for me outside of the door........to say sth with me..............I know..................before, I would have felt shy n hestitated........today, I felt nothin'.........smile n say some normal things..........walk into the door which's kept by him..............nO fEelIng iNsiDe mE!

God provides me an opportunity to meet C, he's not my friend........I meet him once or twice a week depends on the study schedule...........he's older than me.........he gives me several useful advices..........he's trembly.........facin' me........he's miserable in hidin' his feelin'...........he stares at me often..........he likes me for sure.........n he's stuck in his luv............with me...........nOthIn' bE iNsiDe!

God sends me an occasion to meet G, he's my indirect friend........I know him.......n he knows me..........we know each other............not yet spent time together.......He invited me........a date............I halfly agreed........I arrived there...........but not met him........although he's there........Then, we'r gonna meet each other again........I wait..........but it's meanin'less............I know...........from the bottom of my heart.........it says............not now.........maintenance time..........wait! O.K, let's see!

God invites me to his garden "LUV", he's left me outside.........n.............just wait......he said........I'v seen lots of people........comin' in....n.....out the door.........some'r smilin'.............some'r cryin'...........some'r normally walkin' as a habit or a must................but some do not intend to walk into that door.........but they'r absorbed...........like mental flirted by magnet........some'r eager to come into.......then, never see them out...........some'r curiously steepin' into.........then, regret.........not wanna be out..........but the door's already closed........they'r paused..........gaze at the door many times...........not want to walk away..........I'm gradually impatient more n more............God's not come back.............it seems like I've to wait more.............but why? There's available door............just push it n come in...........a little curiousity.........a little hestitation...........what's behind that door? A joy or a sadness? A happiness or a depression?..............Would I lose anythin' to compensate?.............Would I get some subsidizing instead?........

Well, actually..........I've tried once..........reach the door........a surprised shock...........uncomfortable...........but able to addictive-formin'........

Oe, better to sit here n wait for God comes back........lookin' into the door.......I see God...........he's talkin' with a baby..................he seems to do dealin' sth..........baby's cute with innocent face........baby stares at me.........baby says sth with God...........God seems to try to implore sth more..........baby refuses.........n I see God's disappoinment...........baby does not want to redo sth.............what's that? Does it relate to me? ..........I'm wonderin' here- outside of the door-...........then, I see baby's given God a paper...........a word written on that.........Curiously, I shout loudly............."Let me see it, dear God!"...........God seems to hestitate.........."I guess, u would not prefer it.......Nope, I wont...".......a little disappointed.......I'm angry at God.........but baby smiles with me.........nOt yEt fiNisHed- Baby says smiley!